It’s so deep rooted that we just accept painful sex, it all starts in sex education in school (if that was even something you had as child) and that periods are painful, sex STAY AWAY (do not get pregnant) and the friends you spoke with said “Yeah, sex hurts for me too”. If you even dared to ask. The sense of you feeling broken because of your experience with painful sex.
You are not broken, and sexual intimacy is not just penetration; and if any of it is difficult for you, you are not alone.
If you have been told to drink wine, wait to have babies, or just deal with painful sex, that is just crap advice. And I’m sorry for that, as our health care providers are not well educated on sexual health themselves, yes, even if they are OB/GYN.
If you are having a hard time, there are several factors that could be contributing to this! So hear me out.
Low back or hip pain
Pelvic Floor Muscle Dysfunction
Sex Drive & Arousal
Here are TOP 5 Myths:
Sex is painful. False.
If you are having low back pain, hip pain, or pelvic pain this can really contribute to painful sex. Pelvic Physical Therapy helps with addressing the nerves, joints, muscles to help ease pain to also help with arousal of the clitoral organ and natural lubrication leading to an enjoyable orgasm. If you have pain, it may be difficult to for an orgasm to occur, for comfortable palpation of the skin/tissue outside of the vagina called the vulva.
Sex can also enjoyable! So, that myth debunked.
I should have an orgasm as quickly as my partner. False.
Women in particular, have a different type of sexual arousal and personality than men, and from each other. And in general, we all have a different sexual personality, meaning, what helps us have our arousal to allow for good lubrication of the vulva & vagina and stimulation of the clitoral organ. Arousal can vary on the day, stress level, past experience (if sex has been painful, in general), there are a lot of factors that feed into what can create a longer time to have arousal and orgasm. Again, if you are dealing with an irritated vulva, your clitoral hood (skin the covers the clitoral organ), then trying to stimulate the clitoral organ may be difficult and arousal not possible. Pelvic Physical Therapy assessment of the external pelvic floor muscles definitely helps identify if there is any factors contributing to arousal with the muscles, skin, and nerves.
We all have a G spot in the same place. This is also false.
We do not all have the same spot internally that can help stimulate the clitoral organ. In fact orgasms are very difficult to explain to another person, friend, because we all have a different experience. But, if you reach climax of an orgasm typically there will be rhythmic spasms of the vaginal canal and pelvic floor muscles. So when we discuss this with friends, or you listen to things on television, or good ol’ Netflix, when you’re trying to find your own G spot, you cannot base it off of somebody else’s experience, because we are all uniquely different. And in fact, you may not have a G Spot internally. It is all about exploration. If you are having Pelvic Floor Muscle Dysfunction, and the muscles are hypertonic or overactive and painful, trying to explore the G spot internally could be challenging for you, and is definitely something we help women with frequently here at ReGenerate Physiotherapy.
I should be able to have an orgasm internally. False.
This is not a gold standard for women to have orgasm. Eighty-five percent of women have external orgasms only. The most important organ in our body to create orgasm is the clitoral organ. The tip of the clitoral organ, that you’ll refer to as the clit just the tip of it is what is exposed externally. Most women need to stimulate that part of the organ in order to get arousal and engorgement of that clitoral organ, and therefore allow good natural lubrication. So penetrative intercourse is not the gold standard to create an orgasm. Could penetration help stimulate the clitoral organ better? Absolutely. But penetrative intercourse isn’t the way that majority of females have an orgasm.
I am the only one with painful intercourse and broken. False.
One out of five people have pelvic pain and the vast majority of clients we see here at ReGenerate Physiotherapy are clients that struggle with pelvic pain with sex and painful orgasms/painful penetrative intercourse. You are not alone. The problem is we are not talking about this enough and when we do get the courage to ask a health care provider we are given very poor advice.
Pelvic Physical Therapy is a very successful way to help with painful sex. A true pelvic physical therapist, if you’re dealing with any type of pelvic pain will evaluate what’s going on with the pelvic floor muscles internally and externally.
There are lots of factors that we need to consider including, but not limited to:
- lumbar spine, hip, ankle, thoracic, and ribcage.
- vulva health, external skin, the health of the tissue, it’s heavily influenced by hormones.
- Nerve health – the joints or muscles that could be contributing to nerve irritation or entrapment.
- Pelvic floor muscle dysfunction– are the muscles able to lengthen? Range of motion of the muscles? The muscles need to relax and lengthen to allow for good bowel movements, emptying your bladder, and allowing for comfortable & enjoyable penetrative intercourse. If you contract these muscles, and let’s say your pelvic floor is already overactive, high tone, and then we squeeze those muscles aka Kegels. You could see how this can be such a poor solution to painful sex.
So I hope this blog post helps you realize that you definitely are not alone AND there are EFFECTIVE solutions.
When considering seeing a Pelvic Physical Therapist, know that we always start with the evaluation and lots of talking, and you are in control of your session with us. We want to see changes within 3-5 visits, which is something we take pride in here at ReGenerate Physiotherapy!
We give you time and space to talk about your story (offering full one-on-one hours sessions), so we can get to the root cause of your pain and problem. Check out our Google Pics so you can see our office! AND we offer FREE Phone consultations. Set up a call so we can see if we are a good fit for you.